A Struggle.
For one reason or another...
Some days are harder to get through than others.
Some days school just seems too much for me to handle.
Some days I feel like a failure and a disappointment.
Some days I don't understand at all what God's plan is for me.
Some days I feel like my life is a giant mess.
Some days I can't help but think that I made a wrong turn somewhere and there is no way to fix where it went wrong.
Some days I realize how scared I am of life and all the possibilities that it has to offer.
Some days I think that the strong-face that I put on does a poor job of hiding the broken, terrified girl that I really am.
Some days I totally understand why it is that most of the closest, most important people in my life have ended up leaving me.
Some days I just want to give up...
This week has been quite a collection of those days.
A wise person told me some time last week,
“Sometimes God lets us make a mess out of ourlives so we have to ask Him to help us clean it up...”
As happy as I am trying to be, as put together as I may seem to most people, and as ridiculously grateful as I am for everything that I have in my life and everything that is to come, I have to say...
God, I need a broom...and maybe some Windex...
*And thus ends the most self-pitying blog post that I will hopefully ever write.
posted by Lydia Ann @ 11:17 AM
6 Comments
6 Comments:
“If you are never scared, embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take chances”
you have a lot of supporters and people who believe in you, right now you're taking a chance and may not see what it's doing for you. But it's time you believe in yourself. If you can See it, Believe it then it will be yours. Don't worry about anyone else, this time is all for you. You are successful, you have a lot going for you. You may not see it, but this time is yours how you spend it is up to you.
P.S. Prayers are always a good start
please pass the bon ami when you're done - no scratches :-p
love ya girly
I'm just an anonymous mom out here, who stumbled across your blog because my son hopes to go to Budapest with the BSM program. You have given me a huge gift by sharing all your experiences and even though I don't know you, I can tell you are an amazing person. I really hope that if my son does go to Budapest, there are lots of people like you there.
Maybe you can't see it now, but if someone leaves you, then you are probably better off without them in the long run. What feels like a void right now, is really just an open space that is going to be filled with new people and experiences and opportunities.
Hang in there!!
I know a lot of people who seem to be having a week like this- I'm one of them. It seems to be a week where everything is just too much too handle. I like to think that there's just something in the air this week and it will pass. Sort of an emotional allergy season.
But this is the fact that alternately scares me and motivates me: Either way, we're going to survive this.
I love you!
Thank you all so much.
I don't think you realize how much your words make me feel better.
Just one of those weeks, I guess...
Just think the Iceland volcano may last 12 months. Time to work things out in Budapesh
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